No one ever told me that there are important values to consider, besides the realtor's adage of "location, location, location".

After doing well in the stock market a few years back (ah, the golden age!), my husband and I decided to invest in an expensive home two years ago; big beautiful house with all the bells and whistles, brand new, prestigious neighborhood with all the amenities. Others would think we had it made!

What would push us to reevaluate our housing situation in just two years, when we only hope to simply break even selling our new home? Read on...

We've come to learn some important lessons:

1) What's most important, the house or the lot? I now believe that the lot and backyard view is more important than the house itself. This also depends on your financial situation; if you can have both, great! We'd rather invest in the lot and view, and spend less money on the house. This means to us a smaller, simpler home with a great view! We value being outdoors and having nature as a neighbor, which is why we're going to build a smaller, less expensive house on the creek which sides to a small park and greenbelt, and is on a cul-de-sac street of only 15 homes.

2) What kind of neighbors are important? We've come to realize that people in the same age group, with small children (like us), who don't care so much about "prestige" and who really want to know their neighbors is really important! I'm talking about meeting in the cul-de-sac on a nice summer evening to socialize and maybe have a drink together while the kids play.

I suppose that many in our current neighborhood are so busy working, traveling for work, running their kids to all sorts of activities and taking care of their large, expensive homes, that they don't have much time to come out and socialize?

Personally, I'm tired of spending all my time keeping up with our large home. And, my kids don't need to be in three different activities all year long. I'd rather be outside enjoying the scenery and talking with neighbors and letting our kids play...the way neighborhoods used to be when I was growing up.

I recently met a future neighbor where we're planning to build, and I told him of a comment I heard about us from a current neighbor: "Most people aspire to move to this side of the neighborhood, why would they go to the other side?". He responded "That's the snob factor over there...they have more MONEY (or appear to) over there, but we have more FUN over here!". That put it in perspective for me.

3) What are the demographics of the nearby school? The current school we would send our kids to only serves our "custom" home community. This means our kids would primarily socialize with kids who are all alike, in terms of financial and social status. Is that the real world?

My husband and I decided that we don't want our kids "growing up rich", or ever feeling that way. By going to a house on the "other side" (yes, our neighbors have put it that way!) of our community, our kids will still go to an new, "exemplary" rated school with children from various surrounding areas, of various backgrounds and financial status. One neighbor said to me recently, "Why would you want your kids going to a school with kids who live in the lower priced track homes nearby???" I wanted to say, "Why would I send my kids to school with yours who don't experience the real world???" This exchange solidified my desire to move. If parents feel this way, what are their kids learning? It's a scary paradigm to embrace in our world of diversity.

In the end, my husband and I have learned some important lessons about where we live. The house itself is not near as important as the outdoor environment (for our own peace and happiness), the neighborhood dynamics and demographics are important (similar families with young children and the desire to commune with their neighbors), and the school for our children is important (good school serving families in a range of financial and social demographics for lessons in diversity and the realization that people are just people).

What are your values in buying a home? I believe the old real estate adage should be changed to "location, location, values".