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Maintaining Contact In Long-Distance
Situations
![](ph01558k.jpg)
The Use Of Audio And Video Media In Maintaining Contact In
Long-Distance Situations
OK, it's happened. One way or another you have been
physically distanced from your children. You are no longer able to see
your children on a daily, or even frequent, basis. Perhaps they are
very young and you are afraid that they will start to forget you.
Perhaps you are afraid that the physical distance will start to turn
into an emotional distance. Unfortunately, these are often very real
dangers. What can you do?
Put that camcorder to good use, that's what you can do. If you don't
have a camcorder, invest in one. If you don't currently have the means
to invest in one, tap your resources and see if you can borrow one.
Failing all of that, a tape recorder is the next best thing.
"OK, I have a video camera or tape recorder. Now what?"
Welcome to NCP Media Productions. What follows is a list of creative
ways to maintain frequent contact over a distance, ways to include
your child/ren in the entertaining and daily sides of you.
Everything here can be done on audio (cassette) tape, you will simply
need to be much more verbally descriptive to make up for the lack of
video. Sending standard photographs of the event along with the audio
tape is helpful. You can number them on the back and talk about "In
picture number 1……" and describe what was going on or what it is, etc.
-
"Breakfast with me."- Pick a day when you
have some time to spare. If it's not actually breakfast time- no
problem. Any meal will do or you can have breakfast for lunch or
dinner. Be creative. Have breakfast with your child/ren. The trick
here is to engage them even though they're not there. While the
conversation will have to be one-sided, you can pretend to pass them
the milk or other items. Use the time to update them on what's going
on with you- from the exciting to the mundane.
-
"Storytime"- This works best with younger
children. If you don't have any children's books- get some. Read
your children a story. The best perspective when using a video
camera is to film from the front so that they can see you. Show the
pictures in the book by facing the book outward between reading
pages. Play it up. Make up voices and use a lot of facial
expressions. If you have props- use them. Act out the story using
stuffed animals or dolls as the characters.
-
"A Day With Me"- Take your child/ren to
work or the zoo or any other place (well, any place they'll let you
take a video camera). Film "snapshot" footage of parts of the day.
Describe what's going on, where you are, what you're filming, etc.
-
"Storytime"- This works best with younger
children. If you don't have any children's books- get some. Read
your children a story. The best perspective when using a video
camera is to film from the front so that they can see you. Show the
pictures in the book by facing the book outward between reading
pages. Play it up. Make up voices and use a lot of facial
expressions. If you have props- use them. Act out the story using
stuffed animals or dolls as the characters.
-
"Happy Birthday"- Celebrate your child's
birthday (if you are otherwise unable to do so in person). Go "whole
hog". Pick a theme and get the appropriate paper plates, cups, hats,
party favors, etc. Bake a cake and decorate it or buy one already
appropriately decorated. Light the candles and tell them to "blow
them out" (while someone off-camera, kneeling in front of you and
under the camera works well, blows them out). Sing Happy Birthday.
Talk about the things that have happened in the past year- funny
incidents with the child, milestones, moments that made you proud of
the child, accomplishments, etc. (In the format of "Hey (child) do
you remember when you………that was SO funny!", "You know (child), when
you ………that made me SO proud!" etc. Talk TO your child, not just
ABOUT him/her.) For best effect, send the child his/her party
favors, hat, etc. along with the videotape.
-
"Letters From Me"- If your child is too
young or too busy to READ a letter from you…..well, let's just say
that just about EVERY child makes time to watch TV or listen to
music. Put your letters on videotape or cassette tape. Remember to
talk TO your child- not just AT them.
-
"Let Me Show You How"- Have a son who
almost old enough to start shaving? Have a daughter who is almost
old enough to start wearing makeup? Have anything you want to show
them how to do? Show them how YOU do it. Videotape it, step by step,
as YOU do it. Describe what you are doing and why. Start with the
supplies they will need and end with cleaning up the area after they
are done.
Finally, be creative and look for opportunities.
Are you having a family gathering where lots of extended family will
be present? Put them on tape too! Have them talk to the child/ren.
Grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Have them say "hello"
and tell the child/ren what they have been doing lately.
Afraid your ex won't give your child the tapes? Save them up and send
them home with your child on the next visit. Let him/her watch a few
first. Chances are at that point that even if your ex confiscates them
upon the child's return home, your child will drive your ex crazy
wanting them back. You can also make a copy to keep at your home and
letting the child/ren watch them at your house in case they aren't
allowed to at your ex's. This will probably result in the child/ren
asking your ex what happened to the tapes you sent but, as a wise
person once told me- The innocent require no protection and the guilty
deserve none.
Copyright Chrystal 2000. All Rights Reserved. Used
with permission.
May be freely copied and used provided the FRTC attribution line is
kept intact and the FRTC link is included.
Page Location: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/ldvisitation.htm
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specifics of handling the problems of children from infancy on up to
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LONG DISTANCE
PARENTS!!
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